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D VS DS3: I REALLY Hate Black Phantoms

I knew going into this game that I was going to die quickly and often. Learning from the mistakes that led to each death is half the fun after all. However, I was expecting to die from AI being difficult and crafty, not by being invaded by other people every 6 and a ½ minutes. I mean its tough enough dealing with hollows, demons, armored death pigs and giant bosses that require you to get in close to beat them, but now every time my character is in human form I have to deal with the possibility of player controlled Black Phantoms waltzing in and wrecking havoc? It’s just what I always wanted when playing this game.

However, in spite of these Black Phantoms, I press on further into this world of death, dragons, and crazy bosses. Going over the big beasts I have encountered since the last edition of this lovely series we have the Hellkite dragon, the armored tusk, a heavy knight, 3 different black phantoms, and the Belfry Gargoyles. Fun fact for those just starting out shoot off the Hellkite Dragon’s tail and you get the Drake sword. The Drake sword is a mighty good blade for any low to mid level character. You can thank me later via page hits and cookies. The armored tusk really is just a giant boar covered in armor. Circle-strafe the bugger and don’t get caught by the tusks and your golden. Ah, the heavy knight. While relatively easy to take down if your quick enough to dodge his swings, the fight is just a smidge more difficult when you have a black phantom invading your game. To answer your next question, yes it is difficult to focus on one giant demon that is swinging a giant sword at your face when your’e simultaneously worrying about a Black phantom coming up from behind and ruining your day. Next question answered, yes I did take down the heavy knight and yes, I did get clobbered by a black phantom, all thanks to a back stab and the fact I was wearing the giant boar helm because I thought it looked cool. Never again!

So after all that fun malarkey, I climb to the top of the church and prepare to battle the Belfry Gargoyles. I am not ashamed to admit this, I did summon two in game white phantoms to help kick the crap out of the gargoyles. Yes, they did most of the damage while I picked my spots and hacked off the first Gargoyle’s tail and got an axe and a helm for my troubles. Hey, in this game you have to take the victories whichever way you can. So first bell rung, now I have to figure where the hell do I go next. As well as eagerly anticipate what new random creatures are going to come out of nowhere and knock me down multiple pegs. I’m half expecting to see the bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail to come out nowhere and haunt my days. Wait, that’s Dragon’s Crown. Never-you-mind!

Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Danno VS Dark Souls, as I come up against bosses, random lightning throwing baddies, and plenty of tactical retreats. I.E. run away screaming faster than you can say, “Miley needs Jesus.”

About Dan Matthews

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