Welcome to part 2 of Danno VS Dark Souls you lovely people. This is my chronicle of my journey through one of the toughest RPGs to ever console gaming in the past decade. Here, I’ll track how my morale holds up on a per-game session basis, share any humorous reactions I had while playing this amazing game, and also curse the ground the designers walk on. Lets get started.
I’ll get the boring stuff out of the way first. Faced the Taurus demon, took two tries to hack his legs with an electrified scimitar to death, all while not falling off a relatively narrow bridge while dodging the big guy’s attacks. Like I said, boring stuff. The funny stuff happened on the way to said Taurus demon. Mainly, my hubris almost got the better of me, until I realized I had 20 firebombs.
Now in any aspect of life, hubris will come back and bite you in the ass 9 out of 10 times. It’s a fact. Just ask Caesar. Dark Souls has a way of taking the cocky, over confident gamers down multiple pegs every 20 feet or so. Not me though. I can handle these lowly little scrub enemies they keep throwing at me. No problem, a couple good sword hacks will take them down. Then I find a staircase leading down to another area. Now, I am big horror movie fan, I know all the tricks and rules. Biggest rule there is, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, GO DOWN THE STAIRS LEADING TO A DARKENED AREA. Yeah, I ignored that thinking “I have a sword, a shield and some health flasks. What could possibly go wrong?” To answer my own question: a lot. A whole hell of a lot could go wrong, you moron.
In all respects, there is no way in hell I should have survived this next encounter. Woefully unprepared, still rocking the sword I started out with and about 3 decent hits worth of health to my name. So imagine my surprise when at the foot of that staircase, I find a black knight. Later, I realized just how tough these guys are and how I should very much have not have gone anywhere near this guy until much later. Regardless, I see him standing there, not noticing me, when I think, “Hmmm why not say hello with a fire bomb?” Perfectly reasonable idea right? Normally yes, not when it’s an insanely powerful undead knight with a sword as long as my body. Turns out, he didn’t appreciate having a firebomb chucked at him. Go figure. So the black knight breaks out his sword and then I have a flashback to Demon Souls. A certain early game encounter with a red-eyed knight that ended rather quickly and painfully for your dashing hero. I quickly realize the error of my ways, and ran away as fast my character can move. Doesn’t matter, the angered Knight caught up to me and looked rather perturbed. Do I stand and fight? I mean that’s the honorable thing to do right? Well no, this Dark Souls baby! Do whatever it takes to survive. Aka, circle strafe the crap out of him and keep chucking firebombs at him. While praying to the old gods and the new that he doesn’t wind up killing me with that obnoxiously large sword. 10 minutes, 20 firebombs, the last of my restorable health flasks, and a last ditch sword swing later, he goes down. I count my lucky stars and move onto the boss. Who promptly kills me the first time. Hubris folks, it’s a killer.
Next time on Danno VS Dark Souls, a heavily armored war pig, stupid invading black phantoms, another black knight, and HOLY CRAP IS THAT A DRAGON?!? See you next time folks.